" 2 Am and i'm still awake writing this song, if i get it all down on paper it's no longer in side of me, threatening the life it belongs too. And i feel like i'm naked in front of a crowd, these words are my diary screaming out loud and i know that you'll use them however you want too..."
Long time no Speak! If you had been checking my page i'm guessing that in the year that I haven't been blogging you probably haven't kept checking! But just in case..... Welcome back :)
I wanted to write to day to wish you all a happy new year. And I hope that no one has made too many new year resolutions! Because i read a quote somewhere that went a little something like this "My only 1 New Years resolution this year is to not wait till new years to make changes. Just do it." This quote is so true I hope you all are following/ are doing the things you want to do in life.
"If it takes me a life time to learn how to open my heart and to forgive my enemies; to not care about being judged and to just let things go.... if it takes me a life time to learn how to smile and not feel the pain inside me... then a lifetime it shall take"
So, for those of you who don't know I completely addicted to a show called Grey Anatomy (It's brilliant, if you don't watch it you should start!!). But anyway, I haven't caught up on the latest series yet and to my complete joy last night an episode was on t.v!! (i'm so sad!). So I watched it thinking that It wouldn't be that bad to re-watch an old episode and if it was a newer one then i'd be able to catch up. Oh how wrong was I. It was a fairly newish episode and even though I enjoyed watching it and understood it all... it was just....(i apologize but this is the only way I can explain it) Whhhhhaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttt? I couldn't stop thinking "When the hell did that happen?" or "Who is that and when did she come into the show?" and just generally "whhhhaaaaaaattttt?". And I kind of realised this is exactly like real life. When we have been somewhere for so long and start to know how it works, all the gossip, who's with who, what's happening and everything and then choose to leave it all, we instantly come out of the loop and the lose the comfort and familiarity of our old life. And if you have ever been in this position you know that when you come back to your old life you find yourself asking questions like "When the hell did that happen?" or "Who is that and when did she come into town?" or just generally "Wwwaaaaaahhhhhhttttttt?". Your just too busy enjoying your new life to realise that the world still goes around!
When anger turns to sadness. When hours turn to memories. When days turn to weeks and nothing seems okay.
There comes a moment in everyone's life when you are so angry and you just can't contain the anger inside you. Then suddenly, out of the blue the anger in you suddenly turns to sadness and hurt and your guard comes down and tears begin to fall and... well there you have it. Your sad.
The looking glass, so shiny and new How quickly the glamour fades I start spinning, slipping out of time Was that the wrong pill to take? (Raise it up)
You made a deal, and now it seems you have to offer up But will it ever be enough? (Raise it up, raise it up) It's not enough (Raise it up, raise it up)
Here I am, a rabbit hearted girl Frozen in the headlights It seems I've made the final sacrifice
We raise it up, this offering We raise it up
This is a gift, it comes with a price Who is the lamb and who is the knife? Midas is king and he holds me so tight And turns me to gold in the sunlight
I look around, but I can't find you (raise it up) If only I could see your face (raise it up) Instead of rushing towards the skyline (raise it up) I wish that I could just be brave
I must become a lion hearted girl Ready for a fight Before I make the final sacrifice
We raise it up, this offering We raise it up
This is a gift, it comes with a price Who is the lamb and who is the knife? Midas is king and he holds me so tight And turns me to gold in the sunlight
Raise it up, raise it up Raise it up, raise it up
And in the spring I shed my skin And it blows away with the changing wind The waters turn from blue to red As towards the sky I offer it
This is a gift, it comes with a price Who is the lamb and who is the knife? Midas is king and he holds me so tight And turns me to gold in the sunlight
This is a gift, it comes with a price Who is the lamb and who is the knife? Midas is king and he holds me so tight And turns me to gold in the sunlight
This is a gift, it comes with a price Who is the lamb and who is the knife? Midas is king and he holds me so tight And turns me to gold in the sunlight
It's not like i'm holding anything against you, I don't want it to be apart of my life as much as you do. It's just when someone hurts you, it's hard to forget. And when it seems like it's getting back there, when it seems nothings changed and it's happenings again, it's makes you remember. And like I said, I wish I could let go. I'm not this person. I'm not a angry person, or a hateful person. I'm not the person who wants to know where you are 24/7 or the person who judges people. I'm NOT this person.
I do however hate it when people think my life is easy or dare I say perfect. Just because I wear a smile on my face and make the most of my opportunities doesn't mean my life is easy. I've just had a lot of practise not to let things gets you down and to keep going. I've had a lot of practice to let things go and move on. But sometimes it's hard.
