Life

As you can see I have decided to vamp up my blog a bit! And that's not the only thing im changing. Now January is coming to an end, people's new years resolutions are starting to slip, exams are done, work begins and general life is back to normal I've kind of realised that I need to change some things. I keep talking about how everyone should live there life and live for today but it's never really quite that simple. I was watching 500 days of  summer today (which sprouted from my new love of New Girl, if you have not seen it and you can access 4OD, check it out!) and a line in it said something along the lines of "Most of our days have little impact on our life and will not be remembered." That's quite scary really, and true. Most of what I do today I wont even remember tomorrow. We don't have the brain capacity to remember everything we do, so how can life really be so.... great all the time? Because honestly, it's not. Have you ever seen a movie where they all lived there life to the full all the time? No, because it would be boring. Have you ever seen a stereotypical rock star living the dream and not have to wake up in the morning with a hangover? No, because all good things come at a price. I sometimes have days where I think everything's the worst and I'm failing and nothing is right. But everything is okay, i'm just having a bad day. I think I put so much emphasis on living my life, trying not to miss out on anything and not enough in  letting myself be okay when i'm down, making sure i'm truly happy doing things and not forcing myself to do things in fear of missing out. I need to stay true to me. Don't get me wrong, it is very important to live your life but still... I need the days that don't count so that for the days they do i'm truly happy. 

 I'm happy. I am a happy person. I'm just not happy right at this moment. I'm not me. I'm to scared to be me and live my life how I want to. It's scary how some situations you just can't control. You don't even have that much of an input. It's scary how surrounded by people you can be but still feel so alone. It's scary when you don't know what people are really thinking. It's terrifying how quickly days tic past. How young people grow up so quickly. How life changes. How little we know. How much we know. 

I guess you just have to say life is scary. You can't control situations and you will always say what if.  We all just have to run openly into everything even if it means getting hurt and just live with the life fate has dealt us. Because honestly, I could be divorced with 3 children and have barely enough money to make ends meet and be happier than a married couple with a family and millions in the bank.

It's not what your dealt, it's how you use it.