Stick to change. Trust me.

So I haven't written to you, my dear readers, in quite a while. For that I do apologize. Life has been a bit hectic recently between unexpected circumstances in the family, self esteem issues, heartache and of course none of this was helped by the fact I moved 90 miles away from my friends and family to a small town by the cost to start my new life.


When I moved her I was at one of the lowest points of my life I think. I cried every night for a week. Everything was knew, I wasn't enjoying it, I wanted my family and friends back. It just seemed that I was looking forwade to leaving and having this fresh start and when I got here all I wanted was what I had. The whole you never know what you've got until it's gone thing kicked in. I thought I made a mistake. And I haven't admitted this before but I was so close to packing my stuff and leaving. Coming home and restart my thinking. Who was I kidding? I have NEVER cooked a meal for myself! I couldn't do the washing.... what was all these bills people were sending me about paying for my accommodation? I didn't know anyone.... I couldn't talk to anyone... I wasn't ready to move out! I wasn't ready for any of it.

And here I am. Two months later. Leaving for Christmas in a week and I kind of don't want to leave. I love it here. I love the partying. I love my course. I love the people I have met and I love trying new things and doing new things. I love how I have so much opportunity here to be who ever I want to be and go places i've always wanted to go and it's all new exciting.

And until today I realised that i got too caught up in the wurl wind of it all and i gave myself no time to relax. And now i'm suffering for it. Things have changed in my life right now. The only thing i'm sure about at the moment is that i'm in love. But distance pulled that apart. Life pulled that apart. Situation pulled that apart. I'm not who I want to be. I'm not me. Things happen in life so you just have to deal with it and move on. But you've got to give yourself time to move on. People keep rushing life. I have been rushing life. And now, i'm ready to slow down and work on me. Work on what I really want and which path I want to go. What better time to start then right now?